Royally Sarah by Hadiya Hayes

Chapter One

Sarah

Have you ever met someone and just knew they were right for you? The way they look from a distance? How their voice sounds when they whisper your name? Their own distinctive scent that could be nothing but pure pheromones made specifically to entrance you from the start?

Me neither.

I just turned 22 last month in December, it's a new year and I can honestly say that I've only ever been with one person - who didn't really break my heart but did leave me very unmotivated to date again. Her name is Jane. Jane Grace. My best friend, Nina, doesn't believe a joke could get old and still clowns on her having two first names - over a year since we broke up. When we broke up it was three weeks before college graduation, and four months before our four-year anniversary. I remember she had just told me about her plans for after college and how she got this very prestigious job in Maryland doing something or other that I've since forgotten. I could sense what she was going to do probably before she even made up her mind to do it.

Jane had looked at me with her soft, light blue eyes and twisted her mouth into a slight grim-ace, "I don't think it would be a good idea if we continued dating after graduation." The way she had said it was almost pitying.

"Okay..." was my response. Things tend to take a while to settle in for me emotionally, and it was no different back then. Likely because of my need to thoroughly process my emotions after growing up with a mother with bipolar depression and being afraid that I would end up being diagnosed with it - but that's another story.

Anyways, Jane hated that about me, so after three years, I knew my mild response was going to piss her off, even with her feeling bad for breaking up with me.

Especially with her feeling bad for breaking up with me.

In a matter of seconds, she went from concerned sprinkled with some guilt, to just seconds away from being completely pissed.

"Are you serious? Is that all you're gonna say?" She had uttered in disbelief. I remember her pushing up on her feet from where we were sitting on my bed to loom over me. Even now, it's not hard for me to recall the way her golden blonde hair had danced around her shoulders and her eyes flashed at me during our very last time as a couple. Jane was always 10x more attractive when she was angry.

The memory of her during our breakup has been my #1 "special time" fantasy. That is something Nina doesn't need to know, otherwise I'd never hear the end of it.

To make a long story short, we broke up and never saw each other again. Except for on gradu-ation; and social media since we're still friends on everything. I'm actually looking at a picture of her right now, which might have been what triggered the flashback.

The pic is on Instagram, with the caption "I'll miss u MD, try and stay cool without me." It's a selfie with the Washington Monument standing strong and phallic-like in the background. Her hair is cut in a bob, and her eyes sparkle with so much happiness and excitement that it contrasts sharply with the memory I was just reliving. It's a little shocking even though I've seen her present day look many times before. She had cut her golden locks almost immediately after she moved up there. Now, I'm wondering where she's going/moving to, and can't choose between hoping it's here and praying it's not. I bet Nina already knows where and for how long, I think as I hesitantly "like" Jane's post. Right on time, a text pops up on my phone from the bestie herself.

"You are not gonna believe this shit, woman," it reads.

I quickly reply, deciding to beat her to the punch to avoid her dragging the whole thing out.

"Jane Grace is moving back to G'boro?"

2 seconds later: "You saw her insta post too?" and then, "she just better not try and get you back"

I quite literally laugh out loud, "I doubt she's even thought of me in the last year. She's probably not even on the market"'. I shouldn't have added that last part. I follow her Finsta, so I know she's more than on the market; she's been actively dating and #searchingforlove. Her most recent dive into the dating pool left her feeling less than enthusiastic about the MD dating scene and could very likely be part of the reason she's moving from there. Her Finsta is extremely detailed. I still don't know what she does for a living, but she must be doing pretty good if she can just up and leave whenever her heart desires.

"Bitch, you and I both know she's a serial monogamous and I wouldn't put it past her to be coming back here in hopes to get back into a cozy thing with you. You were the best thing to ever happen to her". And that's why I shouldn't have added that last bit. Nina has never tried to hide how much she's glad Jane cut me loose when she did. She's also scared that Jane might have ruined me for anyone else what with my refusal to date in the last year and so since we split. What I've tried many times to explain to Nina, but she has let go in one ear and out the other, is that Jane was convenient; she scratched the itch I had had for many years before going to college for some good loving from a woman, and she filled the companionship void that was there while Nina was off studying abroad. But when she broke up with me I was halfway relieved, because the emotional demand Jane put me through was overwhelming and left me dealing with more than one migraine after spending time with her. Instead of replying, I take a break from my phone to just lay on my bed for the last few minutes before I have to leave for work. Actually, thinking about her now, is starting to give me a migraine.

***

I wake up to my phone ringing. The vibrations resonate through my chest, so I answer it without looking to get it to stop.

"Hello?" I mumble, and then clear my throat.

"The schedule says you're supposed to work tonight from 4:30 to close?" My boss, Darryl, frames it as a question, but we both know I am.

I stifle a groan. "Shit, what time is it?"

"Five. Will you be able to make it?" Darryl is a good guy. He hired me when I was 14 and kept a place for me at his bookstore through college; my various times quitting thinking I'd find something better; and the many many times I have been late.

This one included. Maybe if I lived in a small town his loyalty to me would make more sense. My dad and him weren't friends before I got the job, so I know that had nothing to do with it. There's also no way it has anything to do with my work ethic and great personality. I'm no stick in the mud, but I tend to give very little out in social situations and even less at work.

While rubbing my eyes, I sit up. Shelving books and manning a cash register are not things I feel up to doing tonight, but I'm short on the electric bill. Not to mention the alternative would be falling back to sleep only to end up staying up half the night texting Nina and playing a perfectly mind-numbing video game. Sounds pretty chill, actually.

"Yeah, I'll just be another 20 minute," I say with a little reluctance. We hang up after that.

It only takes me 10 minutes to get to the bookstore. I had already gotten ready for work before passing out - there's not much of a uniform at my job - but I need some time to wake up and a snack to take place of a proper dinner. On the way to the kitchen, I check my phone for notifications out of habit and what I see stops me in my tracks.

Jane had DMed me on Instagram at some point while I was napping.

It says: "It's been a while, huh? I just wanted to let you know personally that I'm gonna be moving back to Greensboro. It would be nice if we could meet up at some point." And then she sent another message, adding: "I've missed you."

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